This is "part 2" to my earlier post regarding Emotional Intelligence (Also known as EQ/Emotional Quotient) and how it contributes to cultivating one's charisma and attaining success in different areas of life. Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behaviour that is distinct from our intellect (IQ). Decades of research are now pointing to EQ, not IQ, being the crucial link to becoming successful in life. Hence it shouldn't be a surprise that studies have shown 90% of the top performers in the business world demonstrate a high level of EQ, and they also tend to manage stress and anxiety in more constructive ways - leading to more inner peace and contentment.
EQ significantly affects our professional/academic performance, mental AND physical health, our social skills and relationships with others - we cannot afford to ignore its critical role in our lives. But to take in so much information out there on this subject can be quite a daunting task, and very often we end up feeling even more confused than ever. Not only do I want to help my clients understand the DEFINITION of EQ and HOW it immensely impacts one's life, I also want them to have concrete action steps to take away with them - so they can actively put them into practice and through time and conscientious efforts, elevate their EQ to a whole new level and enjoy a more fulfilling life. Through this personal development, one will see the positive changes taking place not only in our professional life, but as a person we become emotionally stronger, more confident, compelling and charismatic!
Without regurgitating what you may have already gathered from the colossal amount of literature out there, I will summarize here for you the core elements that define EQ:
1) Self Awareness 2) Empathy 3) Self Regulation/Management 4) Social Awareness 5) Relationship management 6) Motivation
I hope this has helped you gain a little more clarity on EQ and I want to share with you an example of how we can analyze and learn from our daily experiences: Rejections hurt us on many different levels - and very often they erode our confidence. (Self Awareness) Through life's path we will experience it over and over again, hence it is vital that we learn how to deal with them in a positive and healthy way. (Social Awareness) Our first instinctual response will be to blame ourselves for not being "enough" thus attributing to us being "rejected". Life is so intricate that we can never count on ONE simple explanation for the intentions and actions of others. We have to WILL ourselves to UNDERSTAND and ACCEPT the many different possible reasons and scenarios that may have led to a certain treatment or reaction towards us. (Self Management, Empathy) And from my careful observations and research through the years, I can safely say that in many cases, "rejections" are mostly painful indications of the instability, fragility and lack of certain values in the people who are not treating us right. (Of course, before we reach that conclusion we need to first reflect on ourselves and check our own offensiveness or infractions.) How we PROCESS rejections and HANDLE them reflect our own inner strength, maturity and depth. While we hold ourselves accountable for how we behave, we must never be too quick to assign blame to ourselves and others. Tell yourself this: we correct what we can, but we must never let the brokenness of others cut into us. We have the ultimate control of our own emotions and thoughts, so the goal is to widen our own perspective - which will surely lead us to become more objective in our perceptions of others' behaviour thus allowing us the emotional space to heal and reconcile. (Relationship Management)